


Nothing is Whole and Nothing is Broken

by Asuromi



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Kingdom Hearts III, Post-Kingdom Hearts II, Tags May Change, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 01:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30014340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asuromi/pseuds/Asuromi
Summary: The title dream-eater comes with some interesting quirks. Riku has yet to figure that out. Kairi wants to be stronger. Sora is questioning a lot of things. Xehanort is still an asshole.Rated T for swearing. I suck at summaries haha, this is sad. The title is from Sanctuary.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue: Sora is confused, Kairi doesn't want to get left behind, Riku is gay.

Sora wasn’t sure when his feelings got so confusing. Back on the islands, he was sure enough of his feelings. It didnt stay that way for long. His feelings started to muddle, getting more confusing. Is that something that comes with age? He wasn’t sure. He was so sure that he was going to end up with Kairi, after all, that’s how most destinies work, isn’t it? He was pretty sure that he liked her, too. So why? What changed? He couldn’t understand. 

Did he change? Or did Kairi? Sora wasn’t sure of the answers to those questions. Maybe they had both changed. A lot had happened since darkness had overcome Destiny Islands. Or had his feelings changed before then? No… They hadn’t changed. These feelings for… 

He still couldn’t admit it yet. Not even in his own mind. Were his feelings okay? He didn’t think so. But the feelings had been there for a while. He just didn’t realize what they were. He doesn’t want to admit that he now knows what those feelings are. They have a name. He won’t use it, though. Not yet. Probably not ever. He couldn’t bring himself to. These feelings shouldn’t exist. He can’t like… 

not like that. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Kairi didn’t want to get left behind again. She never has had a chance to help. She wanted that chance. It didn’t matter how long she had to train. She wasn’t going to be left behind. Not again. The clashing of metal surrounded her ears, making them ring slightly. She jumped back, collecting her barrings. Lea didn’t hold back. She liked that fact. She couldn’t get stronger if he held back. If she didn’t get stronger, they would leave her behind again. Not again. She ran at Lea, preparing her keyblade to clash once more. 

The spar had ended in a draw, which she was content with. Not exactly happy about, but content. It just showed room for improvement. She would improve, with time. She knew that. But it still made her nervous. What if she was in a state of limbo, never to improve? To be cast aside and left behind once more? 

Lea knocked her out of her thoughts, messing up her hair with his hand, congratulating her on her improvement. The improvement that she couldn’t quite see. 

“Hey! Stop that!” She knocked his hand away, “Your messing up my hair!”  
He just snickered at her. In the end, she didn’t really care that he messed up her hair. It was a tad bit annoying but he does it a lot. And besides, he complimented her! She quickly moved her hair back into place, before walking down the forest trail with Lea. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Riku had accepted his feelings for Sora. That doesn’t mean that they were ever to be told. They would stay buried in his mind, where Sora could not see them. Sora was meant for Kairi, and that was it. 

He wouldn’t move on. He doubted that he could, even if he tried. Sora was unique, in a way that Riku couldn’t really put into words. Sora was just… Sora. Irreplaceable. 

Riku has liked Sora for a damn long time, and it will not change for a damn long time. Not as long as Riku was alive. 

“Looks like you’re in deep thought,” Mickey chuckled. 

Riku flinched, turning to look at Mickey. He had been deep in his thoughts, hadn’t he? It was always like that when he thought about Sora. 

He closed his eyes, nodding his head. He couldn’t deny it or anything. Besides, Mickey likely already knew why he had gotten so deep into his thoughts. He had confided in Mickey about his love for Sora. He questioned whether or not it was okay to love the same gender. Mickey had told him that it was, and Riku had no reason to not believe him. No one had told him something otherwise, and he had trust in Mickey not to lie to him. He smiled to himself, moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I displayed Sora’s inner turmoil well enough. Summary of the chapter: Poor Sora needs to sort out his feelings first before he does anything romantic. Kairi doesn’t want to be separated from the idiots of friends she has. Riku likes Sora. Sorry that this chapter was a bit short, it can be considered as a prologue of sorts.


	2. Chicken Nuggets, Letters, and Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi wants to write letters to Sora and Riku.   
> Lea makes pancakes.   
> Kairi makes chicken nuggets.   
> Chapter end.

Kairi feels like it has been an eternity since she last saw Sora and Riku. It seemed like they were always busy with something. There was hardly any time to visit in-between visits to other worlds. Kairi was training with Lea, Riku was with Mickey, and Sora was with Donald and Goofy. There just weren’t enough moments where they all could talk to each other anymore. Riku and Sora’s bond had gotten stronger through the whole ordeal, but Kairi’s bond with both of the boys had weakened. 

Kairi knew that both Sora and Riku were drifting apart from her. It was understandable why they were no longer as close as before. That did nothing to stop it from hurting any less, however. It still felt like they were actively trying to abandon her this time, though. It was a necessity for her to become stronger, in order to fight with them and to protect them in the heat of battle. She still knew her limits, however, aware of the fact that she cannot take on any of the organization with the skills that she currently has. But, seeing as she will probably be in this world with Lea for a while, she should find some other way to contact them while she gets her gummiphone. It was still being created by Ienzo, so she couldn't use it just yet. But, she was getting impatient and sought to talk with Sora and Riku again. And besides, letters will always be more special to her than texting would ever be. Perhaps there was some sort of mail service that would deliver between worlds… There’s no way that there wouldn’t be, right? It didn't matter if there was or wasn’t, she was going to figure out how to send letters to Sora and Riku. She knew where to begin her search. If anyone could have the answers she was seeking, it was Merlin. 

“Merlin? Is there any way to deliver letters to people on other worlds?” The wizard had an… intriguing… personality to say the least, but he should know one way or another to deliver letters. Out of everyone that Kairi knew, he was likely the most advanced when it comes to magic. 

Kairi waited for a response, mostly patient, “Yes, I do believe so!” Merlin nodded his head, making a grand gesture with his hands. Kairi grinned, waiting for the wizard to continue speaking. There was a way for her to talk to the boys! It didn't matter if they could send letters back or not, at least she could send letters to them! 

And so Merlin began to explain… and get off-topic… several times. But, she did manage to actually get him to talk about how to send the letters! It was rare that the wizard actually explains something when you ask him. He tends to get off-topic a lot. Remind him to get back on-topic enough and he should eventually talk about what you asked him, though. 

Kairi could write to Sora and Riku! And they could write back! They could talk to each other more! Kairi furrowed her brows, why hadn’t they found this out earlier? She shook her head, at least she had the information now. She needed to make sure to include said information on how to send letters back and forth in her two letters to Sora and Riku, as well. 

She made her way back to the woods, and looked around, slightly disoriented. She stood around, waiting before started to move down the dusty trail. That should take her back to the hotel… thing. Lea wasn't really sure what the structure was supposed to be. She wasn't sure either. It wasn't a hotel, exactly, but it was close enough. It was what Lea and Kairi both called it, anyway. 

The trail had a few roots tangled throughout the path, threatening to trip her. Mostly it was just a lot of walking, it didn't tire her out much. She smiled, her endurance has gotten better. Another way that proves that she is getting stronger! The forest was quiet, aside from the usual chirping of brightly colored birds and various ambient noises and sounds. It was extremely relaxing, there was a temptation to fall asleep in the middle of the grove, right then and there! The green of the woods was a sight to behold, something she would love to put to words, to describe. But she didn't have that much more paper left, and she wanted to write letters to Sora and Riku. It was obvious what her decision was. Maybe she could describe the collection of trees to them later. It was truly beautiful. The very first few hours that she was in the greenwood were filled with awe at her surroundings. She wasn’t sure if they, her and Lea, were in the right place at first, even! They, of course, were in the right place, but that didn't change the fact that the forest was just so… calming… beautiful, breathtaking, so many words, and yet none of them seemed to ever fit the exact descriptor of the forest. It had enraptured Kairi for a damn long while. She hoped that one day she could find the right words to describe this lush woodland. 

She had strayed from the trail at some point, too buried in her thoughts of the forest's entrancing beauty to notice the change. 

“Damn it…” She drawled out, annoyed at herself for getting too distracted. Her eyes narrowed, irritated at herself.

Where the hell was she, even?! Ah, she has found the perfect descriptor for this damned forest. It was mazelike when it wanted to be. She didn't doubt the woodland's sentience. She was just going to have to pick a direction and hope it takes her to the hotel… 

It did not, in fact, take her to the hotel. It had taken her deeper into the thicket. Irritation had settled onto her features a while ago. She had no fucking clue what time it was. Too tired to even care what the time was. Last she checked it was around 7:43 pm-ish? And then her gummiphone’s battery died. Why hadn't she texted Lea? 

"Ugh," She groaned, unwilling to go any further. She had too, anyway, of course. Didn't mean she would like doing it. 

Were these woodlands magical or something? Knowing that Merlin was the one who brought them here the first time, most likely. But still, it feels like she’s going to damn circles! 

The sun had fully set. Oddly enough, there are still day-night cycles. Another thing that she doesn't comprehend about this place. With the sun setting, growing ever dimmer, Kairi was able to see the hotel's radiating light. She grinned widely despite her feet aching. She was back! She could finally sleep! She dragged herself to the hotel, utterly exhausted from her trip in the woods. That was going to be the last time she ever let her thoughts wander out in that forest… hopefully. She pushed open the ginormous doors of the hotel, walking inside before her arms promptly fall to her sides once more. Kairi looked at the stairs in front of her, cursing their existence, she didn't have the energy to climb them. Maybe she should just collapse and sleep and the bottom of the stairwell for the night. Haha, no. Her back would kill her when she wakes up if she did that. She groaned, dreading the climb. She pondered whether or not to just skip her nightly shower and crash for the night when she gets back to her room. She sighed, unable to make up her mind.

In the end, she somehow did not end up immediately nodding off as soon as she hit her bed and was able to take a mildly long shower before falling asleep in her comfortable bed. She didn't end up writing anything that night.

She woke up, whining as she got up from her bed. It was comfortable. The outside world was not. She trudged over to her dresser, thankful that she had multiple pairs of magical clothes, even if they all looked the same. She grabbed her outfit from inside of the wooden walls of her dresser, before moving on to the bathroom, throwing open the unpigmented door, wincing at the loud thunk. Early morning headaches are a pain. Kairi might have taken a shower last night, but she did not manage to do her skincare routine, so she had to make up for it this morning. Hooray. At least Riku and Lea also have to suffer the curse of skin. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Near silent footsteps rang down the stairwell as Kairi slowly climbed down the mahogany stairs. She was still a bit tired and could fall down the stairs even when she was wide awake if she sped down them, so she just walked. No need to trip and faceplant down the stairs. That wouldn’t be very fun... at all.

She could smell that Lea had already started to cook breakfast. Pancakes, maybe? Or waffles. She wasn’t really sure. Pancakes sounded better than waffles, however. And so she hopes for pancakes. 

The table was already set, the hotel was definitely magical. No way that Lea set the table, she snickered. 

Lea came out with a plate full of pancakes! She grinned victoriously, like she had actually won something. He set the plate down grabbing three pancakes for himself, drowning them in syrup. She haphazardly sat down at the table, dragging a plate over to her spot from the stack of clean plates, stretching her arm to grab two pancakes. And then she smothered them in grape jam, “Jam is superior to syrup. And that is the truth,” She covered her mouth partially, giggling. Lea didn’t respond, just rolled his eyes, huffing, giving her a small grin. 

Neither of them were morning people, really. So they both ate in mainly silence, occasionally making a comment or two. Lea laughed at Kairi for a solid five minutes from her tale of getting lost in the forest. If glares could kill, Lea would be six feet under. Kairi didn't really find it that funny. Getting lost in that damned forest sucked majorly. Kairi could not wait to laugh her ass off when it was Lea getting lost in the forest. 

After eating breakfast with Lea, they both headed up the stairs to their own respective rooms. While she wasn't sure what Lea was going to do, she was going to write her letters. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

She wasn't exactly sure how long she was at her desk, pencil in hand, waiting to write. It had felt like days upon days had passed. And yet, she still could not think of a single thing to write. There are so many damn things that she needs to tell Sora and Riku. She can't put it to paper though! It was driving her mad. How could she not write two singular letters?! It made her want to cry out of frustration. 

‘Hi, Sora.   
I wanted to thank you and Riku (I’m sending him a letter too!) for saving me. Twice. If I'm being entirely honest, I'm not really sure what to write. There are just too many things I need to write about, to you. So, maybe Riku, You, and I could all talk when we can get the time. That might be a long while though.’

That was an… okay… beginning to her letter to Sora. Kind of. She had always been the writer of the group, so why had the ability to write utterly escaped her? 

She sighed, standing up, pushing her chair back into her desk. Maybe a walk could help her ideas of what to talk about. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Kairi eventually did manage to write both letters to Sora and Riku. While she wasn’t completely happy with how they turned out, they turned out well enough for her to be content. 

It was her turn to make dinner. Lea and her worked in shifts on who gets cooking duty. One cooks, the other cleans. It's an alright system, and they both had agreed on it. Although, neither of them looked forward to being the one who gets to clean up everything. She wasn't completely sure of what to make, so she decided to go with the simplest thing. Chicken nuggets and country gravy… This is sad. But it tastes good, so she doesn't really have any complaints. 

And so she got to cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kairi come get your personality lmao   
> We’ll get back to the sad Sora times soon. We most likely will get to dream-eater Riku quirks soon as well, hopefully. But first, Kairi.   
> Please comment on any criticisms or ideas you have (like if the chapters are too long or too short, if a character is ooc for no reason, if something does not make sense plotwise, things like that. Or just say that my writing is terrible if it is (please give reasons tho lol) Or just comments. I like comments. Comments are nice and encourage me to write more :)


End file.
